When we live in a society that shames women’s sexuality starting from birth but then also tells those same women once they get partnered/married that there’s something wrong with them for having a lower libido than her partner, it’s a miracle that we’ve made it this far without going insane.
Ladies, I'm going back to my high school drill team days on this one and I'm going to cheer clap this at the top of my lungs so that you all can hear this important message:
There’s nothing wrong with you for enjoying sex!
There’s nothing wrong with you for not enjoying sex!
There’s also nothing wrong with you if you like sex more/less than your partner!
Simply put, there’s nothing wrong with you or your sexuality no matter what, ever!!
There’s no such thing as the “right” or “normal” amount of sex because everyone is different. Compartmentalizing or shutting down your sexuality isn’t some martyrdom feat either... so let’s cut the crap and start owning our sexuality and stop calling each other out for liking sex too much/little because you’re only hurting yourself and other women around you.
Lastly, I want you to know that it’s not your fault that there’s barely any information on women’s sexuality out there (most research on sexuality has only been done on men... this is still true, even today! 😤) but there is one book I refer to all of my female clients more than any other and that is the wonderful “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski. Seriously, if you’re feeling crappy about your sexuality, body or libido... this will be your new Bible.
What books or resources have been helpful for you in normalizing and/or celebrating your sexuality? I’m always on the look out for new resources to share + empower so please comment below!
Sara Paules, LPC
Mindful Soul Center